Jump to content

Breastfeeding woes :'(


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#1 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:20 PM

I have a 3 month old, and we have feeding problems, which means he also can't sleep for very long. So I never get a break.

Here's the story:
- He takes over an hour to feed and often wants more after 40-60 mins.
- Makes a clicking sound while feeding. Can't latch properly.
- LC said he had lip tie, tongue tie & high palate.
- Went to paediatric surgeon, they did an ultrasound while he was feeding. Confirmed need for TT release which we did.
- This has not solved the problem. Now they're saying that due to his high palate, "He may never feed well"
- He still can't hold a dummy in. Have tried the cherry shaped dummies.

He has trouble gaining weight. Has been as low as 2nd percentile. Currently 9th percentile (but feeding is all I do everyday).

- I am on motilium (2 tabs, 3 times per day).
- I pump after most feeds to give him expressed breast milk topups after most feeds.
- We give him 150mL formula once a day as a topup around midnight (I pump at the same time to avoid drop in supply).
- I have the ergo baby breastfeeding pillow.
- I just bought a Haakaa - doesn't seem to work for me (I have low supply due to his ineffective feeding).
- I have the medela double electric pump. I single pump to minimise washing up.
- Tried to get a private LC to come to the home, but they're not responding to messages.
- Tired of the public drop in sessions. They thought the TT was the problem, but there's obviously something else going on.

I'm on my own most days. It is really hard to feed, pump, settle etc.

Would welcome any suggestions. I am in Sydney.

#2 Crazyone26989

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:28 PM

I am by no means a breastfeeding expert. My 6 month old had a tongue tie and he needed 3 sessions with an osteopath to fix his sucking issues.

#3 Riotproof

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:29 PM

Are you wanting to exclusively express and feed by bottle?

My advice about pumping is to warm your breasts with a warm flannel first, then massage, then preferably watch a video of your baby while you pump, and lots of people swear double pumping works better.

Is it possible you have delayed let down?

Have you had a speech pathologist watch him feed?

Edited by Riotproof, 13 January 2020 - 05:30 PM.


#4 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:30 PM

Thanks Crazyone! How did the osteopath fix his sucking issues?
I hadn't even thought of an osteopath so I really appreciate it.
If you are in Syd, would you mind sending me the name by DM?

#5 crazy87

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:30 PM

Oh your poor thing....

Step #1 get the lip tie released. 50% of Drs don't believe it causes problems but it 100% does. Baby can't flange their lip so can't latch onto anything properly whether it be bottles, dummies, breasts whatever.

And honestly, this is completely up to you, but don't feel like you have to keep up breastfeeding. I did it for 3mths and nearly sent myself into PND. In hindsight I should've given up long before I did.

In my own experience, the poor latch means the baby is taking in so much air with each mouthful- which causes massive wind problems, lack of sleep, etc etc. And hell for the mother.

I would head to a dentist specialising in ties and get them to fix it. I can recommend one in the Hills area if that's anywhere near :)

#6 SplashingRainbows

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:31 PM

A few things come to mind, but firstly it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job and if none of these statements are helpful then ignore them all.

1. If you no longer want to breastfeed, formula is a safe and effective alternative, so please leave that option open to yourself.

2. Would exclusively pumping give you more help/time? Baby probably wouldn’t take 40-60 minutes to have a bottle and once you’ve pumped you can move on to the next thing especially if you’ve got a good double pump.

3. It’s highly unlikely (IMO) baby is feeding efficiently for an hour. A LC review would be helpful but I acknowledge you’re not getting that. I know my eldest had me trapped in the lounge far too long because he was cuddling/sleeping. That’s fine, I did love the cuddles. But all day every day was too much and not helpful for my mental health.

Is he actively sucking that whole hour? What happens if you take him off after 10-15 minutes? How often are you switching sides? That may help? Can you reclaim some of your day this way?

#7 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:33 PM

Thanks Riotproof. I think I do have delayed letdown. What should I do about it?

Yes, have also been to a speech pathologist. Should have mentioned this. She mainly said she thought he was ok and to flange his lip out while feeding. This hasn't really achieved much.

#8 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:37 PM

Thanks SR.
He is a slow feeder, a few sucks, a break, just so slow. But he is holding on. If I try to take him off, he starts sucking again.

I am scared to exclusive pump. I'm worried I would lose my supply. I think I'd also need a lot of help to get this started, which I don't have.

LC suggested switch feeding, but I think we both hated it. Didn't seem to boost my supply unfortunately.

#9 Riotproof

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:44 PM

View PostChamomile, on 13 January 2020 - 05:33 PM, said:

Thanks Riotproof. I think I do have delayed letdown. What should I do about it?

Yes, have also been to a speech pathologist. Should have mentioned this. She mainly said she thought he was ok and to flange his lip out while feeding. This hasn't really achieved much.

I think the standard advice is actually a lot of the pumping stuff I gave above. Warming the breast, massaging to get letdown Before even trying to put him on. Then you can compress your breast while he is feeding to help him get more.
DD was premature and that is what I did to help her, but it may not be enough in your case. It sounds very challenging.

I do want to add that I agree with Splashingrainbows above.

I just saw your post and the time, and thought you might be in the thick of it right now.

#10 Crazyone26989

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:44 PM

View PostChamomile, on 13 January 2020 - 05:30 PM, said:

Thanks Crazyone! How did the osteopath fix his sucking issues?
I hadn't even thought of an osteopath so I really appreciate it.
If you are in Syd, would you mind sending me the name by DM?

She did some sucking exercises with him. She would put her finger in his mouth to encourage him to cup his tongue and then I had to do that at home too. There were a few other things too with his general body alignment. I’ll DM you the name of the lady.

#11 Hands Up

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:49 PM

I switched to exclusive pumping after having a lot of BF issues. My supply improved. No pumps worked for me but I found hand expressing easy as I could feel where the milk was. I did it until I was fed up (three months) and then gradually introduced formula. It was such a relief and made a big difference to how I felt about parenthood.

I’m sharing my experience just in case you are thinking of a different path.

#12 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:51 PM

I'm eating a lean cuisine as fast as I can, then back to feeding :(

#13 Riotproof

Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:55 PM

Don’t forget a huge glass of water.

Are you eating enough?

#14 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:10 PM

You poor thing. I would just go to formula. You’ve given it a red hot go but it’s time for a different approach. I really feel for you. Xxx

#15 rowd

Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:15 PM

I'm also not an expert but I had several sessions with a lactation consultant and these are a few things I did which helped when I had a prem/medically complex baby who had a lot of challenges with feeding:

Nipple shields. This was huge for us as they allowed her to latch a lot more easily and actually get a good flow of milk. She had a severe tongue tie and very high palate, but the shields seemed to eliminate both of those issues in regards to feeding.

Double pumping - it really helps with supply and is also a lot more time efficient. You can do it for 5-10 mins after feeding, or just simply during the formula feed.

Breast compresses while feeding, which helps increase flow and release the fattier milk, helping baby stay fuller longer. These need to be done for at least 10 secs at a time, it isn't just a quick squeeze.

And also seconding the osteo suggestion. This helped with both my kids.

#16 Dianalynch

Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:26 PM

That is such hard work, ds also had issues, I pumped for 2 months then formula, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I try to focus on what I did achieve - breast milk for 8 weeks,  when we had ds’s pead saying from day 4 for very good reasons ‘this one’s not going to be breastfed...’

#17 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:28 PM

View PostRiotproof, on 13 January 2020 - 05:55 PM, said:

Don’t forget a huge glass of water.

Are you eating enough?

Haha, I’m probably the only person who gains weight while BF. Another sign something isn’t right.

#18 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:05 PM

View Postrowd, on 13 January 2020 - 06:15 PM, said:


Nipple shields. This was huge for us as they allowed her to latch a lot more easily and actually get a good flow of milk. She had a severe tongue tie and very high palate, but the shields seemed to eliminate both of those issues in regards to feeding.



Thanks Rowd. Any particular brand or type I should try?

#19 Beanette

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:07 PM

Don't beat yourself up, you have done amazingly well for persisting for this long. What a gift to your son! Try to feel proud and not guilty (I know this is much easier said than done).

My DS was never able to latch properly, also with a high palate. His poor latch basically destroyed my nipples (right side is 50% scar tissue, left side is maybe 30% scar tissue) and so I wasn't able to BF DD either, even though she had a great latch.
I exclusively pumped for DS for 9 months. By 3 months with DD I was so pumping, and switched to formula with no regrets.

Does he take the formula and EBM bottles well? Switching to bottles could mean he can eat more effectively, then sleep better.

If you do decide to go down the exclusive pumping route, definitely try to double pump. It's more efficient for building your supply to empty both breasts at once (and if you keep your parts in the fridge between pumps they only need to be washed once every 24 hours)

#20 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:10 PM

View PostBeanette, on 13 January 2020 - 07:07 PM, said:


If you do decide to go down the exclusive pumping route, definitely try to double pump. It's more efficient for building your supply to empty both breasts at once (and if you keep your parts in the fridge between pumps they only need to be washed once every 24 hours)

Thanks, I didn't know this at all.

#21 Anonymouse-101

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:18 PM

View PostChamomile, on 13 January 2020 - 05:20 PM, said:

I have a 3 month old, and we have feeding problems, which means he also can't sleep for very long. So I never get a break.

Here's the story:
- He takes over an hour to feed and often wants more after 40-60 mins.
- Makes a clicking sound while feeding. Can't latch properly.
- LC said he had lip tie, tongue tie & high palate.
- Went to paediatric surgeon, they did an ultrasound while he was feeding. Confirmed need for TT release which we did.
- This has not solved the problem. Now they're saying that due to his high palate, "He may never feed well"
- He still can't hold a dummy in. Have tried the cherry shaped dummies.

He has trouble gaining weight. Has been as low as 2nd percentile. Currently 9th percentile (but feeding is all I do everyday).

- I am on motilium (2 tabs, 3 times per day).
- I pump after most feeds to give him expressed breast milk topups after most feeds.
- We give him 150mL formula once a day as a topup around midnight (I pump at the same time to avoid drop in supply).
- I have the ergo baby breastfeeding pillow.
- I just bought a Haakaa - doesn't seem to work for me (I have low supply due to his ineffective feeding).
- I have the medela double electric pump. I single pump to minimise washing up.
- Tried to get a private LC to come to the home, but they're not responding to messages.
- Tired of the public drop in sessions. They thought the TT was the problem, but there's obviously something else going on.

I'm on my own most days. It is really hard to feed, pump, settle etc.

Would welcome any suggestions. I am in Sydney.

Hi, your story sounds very similar to mine - and I’m also in Sydney and suspect we may have seen the same doctor based on the ultrasound! I’m happy to PM you the name of the LC we saw at home if you like - she was much, much better than the ones at the droop in clinic.

My bub is now 12 months and we’re still feeding :)

#22 lucky 2

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:18 PM

Hi, sounds tough. x
Perhaps try a different LC? Perhaps others are in your area.
Good suggestions re speechie but only if they specialise in bfing babies.
Flanging the top lip isn't helpful, the top lip can be neutral during feeding.
Having a lip frenulum severed will not come with a guarantee that bfing will improve, just as a tongue tie procedure can not give that guarantee.
It sounds like baby is having trouble holding your breast deep in the mouth.
Sure, the tongue release might have helped but a high arched hard palate is tricky.
Using a large nipple shield might help him fill his mouth but 3 month old babies often won't accept a shield, they get used to a direct latch.
Could you increase his milk intake so he will grow the average amount of weight?
If he has slow growth and is already having one dose of formula, can't he have more, ie after 2 or more feeds?
If he isn't growing well he may be less vigorous at feeds.
Perhaps bring him close, ensure he has as much breast in his mouth as possible, aiming your nipple to the back of his hard palate. Ensure his chin and both cheeks are tucked into your breast, ie not dragging on the breast.
When he slows, use gentle breast squeezes to help milk flow, when he is not swallowing, I'd try the switch feeding again. Gently remove him, if he is immediately upset just switch sides, if he is sleepy you could lie him on your lap.
How about a supply line, it might help but no guarantee. ?
If you've had enough expressing you could be, switch feed then bottle with formula to what ever volume he wants.
Who knows the future, your milk production could further decrease with not bfing and just expressing, but as a pp said, it might stay ok or increase  ?
Good luck!
Have you had a chat with an aba counsellor? They may not fix the issues but it may also help to talk it through. ?

#23 Chamomile

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:31 PM

View PostAnonymouse-101, on 13 January 2020 - 07:18 PM, said:



Hi, your story sounds very similar to mine - and I’m also in Sydney and suspect we may have seen the same doctor based on the ultrasound! I’m happy to PM you the name of the LC we saw at home if you like - she was much, much better than the ones at the droop in clinic.

My bub is now 12 months and we’re still feeding :)

Thanks Anon, if you could pm me your LC that would be great :)

#24 rowd

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:50 PM

View PostChamomile, on 13 January 2020 - 07:05 PM, said:



Thanks Rowd. Any particular brand or type I should try?

I used the hospital supplied ones, so I don't know the brand sorry, but I think just try whatever they have at the pharmacy/supermarket. You do need to get the right size for your nipples but if in doubt just grab a couple of the standard sizes and try them out. They're very easy to use and nothing to lose if they don't work out (aside from maybe $10 or so!)

#25 Disydo2018

Posted 13 January 2020 - 07:53 PM

Chamomile, you’re doing an amazing job. I can’t advise as I wasn’t able to breastfeed - switched to formula after two weeks. It sounds like you don’t want to switch to formula and that’s completely your choice but I just thought I’d say what a difference it made to me. My baby is now almost 8 weeks and thriving - and I’m able to be a much better mother to him because I’m not spending my days crying and exhausted because I can’t feed him. The fact that you’ve persevered for this long with such severe issues is incredible and something you should feel really proud of. I guess I’m just saying that there’s another way of it all becomes too much. Take care.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My parenting style is Survivalist'

A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.

8 mums reveal their favourite nappy bags

We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.

Why you shouldn't bother throwing a big first birthday party

If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.

The 24 baby names on the verge of extinction this year

If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Meet the baby born from an embryo frozen for 24 years

Experts say little Emma is a record breaking baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.
什么网站可以赌钱的麻将 全民如意麻将下载安装 中国股票配资平台排行榜 长安汽车股票 广东推倒胡麻将技巧 闲来陕西麻将微信群号 信康配资 安徽十一选五遗漏号 东风股份股吧 火山策略 湖北一定牛快三 支付宝模拟炒股能赚钱吗 血战到底麻将基本原则 香港麻将十三幺 盈策略 安徽快三开奖